And so, it has come to this..

So, I have been having an insanely hard time lately. Betrayed by my own sister, lost part of my heart, and I don't really feel like anything is getting any better. Also, I'm failing my college class. Great. So, instead of doing my homework, I am focusing on writing my feelings out for no one to see, watching That 70s Show, and choosing to look at my phone every two minutes just waiting for that call that I know will never come. i just LOVE being ignored. I also have a cut in my lip and my room is really messy. Being a pessimist is some times the only thing that I have to turn to. It is really so much fun to just look at everything in my life that I hate. But then I am forced to look at the bright side.
I got my partriorocol blessing, and I feel like I am going to have a pretty great life, my son is going to be a healthy little one year old in a week, and I have a job interview, and I got to teach dance today. So, that is all good. Also, being depressed is making my appitite go away and I am back to 115 pounds! I'm just venting here because there is no one else for them to go to. So here I can say whatever I want and no one will ever know :) I am so sick of being oppressed by these people around me. I will be heard one day. I dont know who by, but I will be. I am not a liar, and I do not drink and I am going to do great things.
Ah! I wish that I was the Jackie off of That 70s Show. She is so pretty and she has no problem being with guys. And she is rich! Yeah! I could be ok with that. Haha.
basically I can't wait to be married! I honestly thought that he was the one. I know that I am only 18 but it was really love. At least for me. I guess that I was just someone who was there and gave him what he wanted. I don't know why I let myself fall for him. I mean I guess deep down I knew that he was like that. I just thought that for once, maybe someone wouild tell the truth when they spoke. Haha rather high expectations for highschool, I know. But hey, I thought he was "different" I was wrong, like usual. But this time for some reason it was worse. Guess that's what happens when I'm nothing but the rebound. Never again will I think that someone will actually tell the truth, or that family is something more than just a word. I miss his music. I miss his humor. I just miss him. Oh well. Life goes on, right? Well... that's all I worry about. But there is nothing to change. Because I want to be sad. At least for right now. Signing out now. So... yeah.